Hundred Dolla' Holla' with Naked Raygun

This weekend I am going to be host to a tent party at Riot Fest Chicago.  We are going to be playing video games, raffling off prizes, dousing people in a dunk tank and generally just mixing it up with the masses amidst great music.  A funnel cake or two may also be consumed.  

I also created a promotion called the Hundred Dolla' Holla' Club.  It is an incentive to get people to spend $100 on raffle tickets.

The idea is simple: Join the Hundred Dolla' Holla' Club by spending $100 and you shall receive -

• 80 raffle tickets 
• A CCH t-shirt
• $10 in video game tokens
• A Naked Raygun styled chant performed in your honor by the volunteers staffing the booth.

Guess which part I had a hard time selling to the volunteers I recruited.  

The thing is, I blame the Chicago education system.  Clearly we are not teaching the younger generations about the rapturous call and response opportunities offered through the music of Naked Raygun.  

Elsewhere in the world, they have football vuvuzelas that trumpet your impending hearing loss.  In other areas of the globe, you can wildly scatter in a market square as a full grown bull thrashes about in close proximity.  

These rituals represent a submission of your individual consciousness to the ecstatic mob mentality.  Y'see, mob mentality gets a bad rap as always being negative and it just isn't so. In the words of Maude Lebowski, these moments "can be a natural, zesty enterprise." 

Here in the Windy City, the quickest path to a true Chicago citizenship is to risk a severe bruising as you mingle your sweat with hundreds of others; the easiest way to earn your Chi-town bona fides is to mosh joyously at a Naked Raygun show as you shred your vocal chords chanting along to (at least) these ten songs. 

This is not the result of a poll.  This is based solely on my extensive field experience.

10. New Dreams

This is where it all started. The short chant perforates the Super Ego with the force of its intent.  It boldly declares: "My new dreams are becoming a reality no matter what heretofore unseen steps need to be taken.  WHOA-AY-OH!  WAY-OH-WAY!

9. HOME

For most of the song, it is just blunt primal scream therapy to manage the pain, ("Oh God, I really feel the pain"). but then in the last throes of the song the heavenly choir ascends.  Home again, check the fridge.  

8. Backlash Jack

Hey, I was at this show!  The sound quality on this video is impressive but because of the narrow scope of what I assume was a cameraphone recording, you can't really see the crowd.  

But you can certainly still hear them.  Our presence is best represented by the the kid that shows up 1:15 minutes in to the video.  It seems that in Mishwauka, Indiana at least one family is raising their young up on the classics.  

What is this song about?  Beware of vipers and sycophants.  Or as Joan fucking Jett puts it, "you got nothing to lose, you don't lose when you lose fake friends."

7. Wonder Beer

Hey! I was at this show too!  And I can totally see myself in the crowd.  I pounded the stage floorboards until my fists were black and blue.  

Kudos to whomever loaded this up for putting in the lyric word balloons.  Until just now, I thought I knew the lyrics to this song by heart - but I always heard the line about "too much adrenaline" as being a shout out to Loretta Lynn.  In my defense, this is much less of a logical jump than one would expect in this song that also give props to Lou Reed, Iggy Pop and Roy Orbison. 

This one isn't really a chant per se, it is more like chorus that acts like an Irish toast in the middle of a song about that "sweet Bacchanalian din" (expertly rhymed with two more aspirin).  But it is a prime example of the energy that a crowd of faithful NR fans gives back.  

It is okay to feel a little lightheaded as you sing along to Wonder Beer.  It is perfectly normal to have a pukey burp as you belt this out.  Who is going to judge you?  Surely not the Gods - they are as piss drunk as you and I.  

6. Home of the Brave

I remember listening to an episode of Sound Opinions where Derogatis and Kot struck upon the idea of playing the "quintessential" Chicago song. They gave themselves just one station break to come to an agreement on what that track would be.  

This is the song they came up with in a pinch, and as an instinctual decision it was a pretty astute one.  

Fast forward ahead to 1:50 in to get a POV perspective of what it is like when Jeff Pezzati thrusts the mic into your vicinity.  

What are you going to do?  Stand there like a poseur or answer the Call of the Brave? 

5. Metastasis

I would just like to point out that you can see Riot Mike at the start of this clip, making sure his guys have the proper hydration within arms reach. 

When I started this post, I had no idea that I would discover how many NR shows I have attended that ended up on Youtube, but I here I am in yet another video.  I am hanging just to the right of the taper and his buddy singing along with my good friend Wendi.  

This track has the giddy joy of a football hooligan down pat.  What else but fervent devotion would have you proudly exclaim, "I AM A LOCAL SLIME MOLD OH-OH-OHHH!  HEY-AY! HEY-AY! HEY-AY!" 

And if you are cramming for Riot Fest, be sure to pay close attention to this one as it will be performed as it is part of Throb, Throb which Raygun will be playing front to back. 

4. Rat Patrol

Ok, I surely wasn't at this performance because I would remember that my mother would have had to drive me into the city to be there as I was only 13 years old at the time.  

Rat Patrol is one of the very few reasons I am glad that my old-ass Honda Civic has just a tape deck.  In the seconds of cassette hiss before this song kicks in, I exist inside a Pavlovian predisposition.  

Look at how incredibly PACKED the Metro is with shirtless young men just burning to be a part of "Chicago Woodstock" as Jeff puts it.  As your study buddy, I feel it is important to mention that this is also sure to be on the test this weekend.  

3. Soldier's Requiem

Naked Raygun is a product of the first Cold War.  It is self evident in their album covers and their lyrics.  Growing up in the imminent shadow of mutually assured destruction, you can either curl up in a ball of fear or you can do your best to laugh it off and forge on.  Camaraderie and humor helps to ease the anxiety of forces beyond your control.  

It feels like we have come full circle and Naked Raygun is once again a product of current headlines. 

Oh, I was at this show too.  It was a night I hope I never forget.     

2. Knock Me Down

If you have made it this far and actually watched all these clips, god bless you.

If you saw Guardians of The Galaxy, you know how the character Groot gets a lot of mileage out of his inflection of his only three words of dialogue   throughout the movie?  

Well, Raygun is the same way with just one word: Whoa.  

I want to give you a bit of break from the shaky and frenetic hand held cameras.  

So I present to you the wonder of the Skater Tots covering our #2 entry - Knock Me Down - a great love song for the ages. 

1.  I Lie

I thought long and hard about what should be #1 and this one edged out the formidable competition simply because "I Lie" contains the Whoa-oh-oh-ohs that the crowd starts up with in unison, without the band, when we want Raygun to come back out for an encore.  

It sounds utterly fantastic when the crowd is in to it.  You can hear a little bit of it going on at the start of this clip as the band returns to the stage and takes up the song. They love us and we love them.  

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Well, that is it - 10 Naked Raygun songs no self respecting sing-along enthusiast can ignore!  Maybe next year I can get some volunteers to holla with me.

Are you feeling it?  Do you believe I left a crucial song off the list?  Do you disagree with the pecking order?     

You can post in the comments or take it up with me at Riot Fest. Or better yet, at the Double Door aftershow.  I will be there - just follow the sound of my voice.  

  

Have we reached Peak Vinyl?

So my good friend G$ is working towards opening his own record store and it has been fun to live vicariously through him as he amasses a collection to merit such an effort.  

Or at least it was at the very beginning.  On one of his earliest scores, G$ bought an entire roomful of records for $500.  They were literally jammed airtight into this room from floor to ceiling.   

Lately I have started to worry that this vinyl resurgence has induced a gold rush fever that will soon go bust.  

Y'see, I started looking around on Craigslist to see if I could help find some decent scores so my buddy G$ could build up his stock.  What I found leads me to believe that all these plain folk with records collecting dust in their basements may have read an article about the vinyl boom and plumb lost their minds. 

For you serious collectors out there, I will warn you that these images and ads I am about to share with you may seem like a cruel and sadistic joke.  I assure you that they are very real and I fear they point to a future where finding quality records will be much more difficult and costly. 

I have no plans to return to Craigslist and I offer this log of what I found as a cautionary tale for anyone sensitive to the mistreatment of records. 

 "I have two big rubbermaid containers full of old record albums. If I had to guess, I would say there are about 1000 at least. They are from various artists. They are not in perfect condition, but I'm sure there are some gems in there. I just don't have the time to sort them. Just trying to get rid of them. Thanks for looking."

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This listing above is pretty typical of what I found.  Everyone is certain that their parcel has precious gold in it - or they are just playing dumb in the hopes that someone sizes them up as a rube and hauls away their trash for them.  It is like an elaborate Tom Sawyer paint my fence set up.  

If I had to guess, I would say that there was 200 seriously abused records in those Rubbermaid tubs. If I had to guess, I would say they were subjected to waterboarding and several humiliating sessions with a feline dominatrix.  

I suspect this person may actually be an exhibitionist masochist: "Thanks for looking at my vinyl torture porn. Hey, you are in luck!; I was just about to bring out the Gimp.

                        ****

RECORDS, I HAVE 13 FROM EARLY 1980'S AND EARLIER. $10 – Condition: Good.  ASK FOR RICK.

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Rick, I would like to ask you a question. I presume that you know how to work a digital camera thanks to the photo you provided with your listing.  Has anyone every told you that 9/10ths of the sale is presentation?  I mean, who stacks records like this?  Do you work in a fish market?

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Vinyl Albums $50.00 each albumPeter Frampton Frampton Comes Alive,Bruce Springsteen Born in The U.S.A., Michael Jackson Thriller,Beach Boys Spirit Of America, Black Sabbath, Sabbath Bloody Sabbath,Frankie Goes To Hollywood Welcome To The Pleasuredome...Palos Heights thats in the south suburbs!!! text or call I respond faster

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Dear Palos Heights,

I have questions about these certifiably rare albums that you are surprisingly willing to part with at such bargain pricing.  

Does the Springsteen album come with a bandanna soaked in The Boss's flopsweat?  Does the Sabbath album come the carcass of the bat whose head Ozzy bit off?  Is the Thriller album sticky with King of Pop's jizm?   Are you throwing in Brian Wilson's bathrobe that he wore for a decade straight to sweeten the pot?  

What forensic level of memorabilia are you clearly going to add to this deal of six blurry records laying on the floor of your den to justify THREE HUNDRED SIMOLIANS and a trip to the south suburbs?  A coke-encrusted arab strap from the Pleasuredome?  

Please text or call me back and I will respond, perhaps with some pointers on proper comma placement.  Or not.

*****  

Have several brand new, undamaged Rock LPs all at various prices. Jon Spencer Blues Explosion. Hovercraft, etc. Email for info and prices. 

Note: the Ted Nugent LP is free.
Mick Jagger records are $7.00 each.

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This one may be my favorite listing - it packs in all forms of slick advertising with such brevity.  

"Brand New," for instance, might make the following term "undamaged" seem irrelevant. But this guy isn't taking any chances, he wants to manage your expectations.  Especially since he is showing you a copy of an album that clearly hasn't been "brand new" since 1975.

But perhaps that isn't fair since that photo is the Ted Nugent album.  The one free LP that you get if you Act Now(!) and email about the pricing for the several brand new, undamaged others. You'll be delighted to learn that he has Jon Spencer Blues Explosion as well as Hovercraft! Not to mention etc! 

Well, wait - can we suppose that he doesn't have the Jon Spencer Blues Explosion LP titled "Damage"?  And how much do you think he is asking for the Mick Jagger records?  

Oh yeah, I will probably learn that when I email him about the pricing for the several others.  

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15 Great Rock n Roll albulms from the 80's, The Eagles Greatest Hits Volume 1, Van Halen, Rush Moving Pictures, The Police Every Breath You Take, Bad Company 10 from 6, Steppenwolf 16 Greatest Hits, The Eagles Greatest Hits Volume 2, Rush 2112, The Cars, Madonna True Blue, Foreigner, Alice Cooper, Scott Baio, Rush Permanent Waves, and Steve Martin Wild and Crazy Guy, has the song King Tut, The records are in great shape, the covers are fair to good, Bring back the Memories.

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Admittedly my memories of the 80's is a little fuzzy but were all of these "albulms" so great that they deserve to be revisited?

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ANYONE LOOKING FOR RECORDS?!

I have over 40 crates of records but I am not wanting to part with all of them. I am willing to part with 15-20 of them. I have all genres of music. I am not interested in selling record by record. Selling WHOLE crates ONLY. $35 per crate OR if you are interested in buying multiple, we can work something out (buy 4 get one free for instance...whatever). Some records are used, some have not been opened. They are all mixed and in no type of order what so ever. SERIOUS INQUIRES ONLY!!!!

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Oh don't play coy with me, audiophile!  You KNOW I am looking for records and I won't rest until I get all 40 of these undifferentiated crates of LPs as well as the insects and molds that have claimed them as their home.  Like you, I am into all genres of music and I am always serious when it comes working something out...whatever. 

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I have 2 boxes of Vinyl records looking to sell

some are in really good shape and some very old titles.

I know that a couple of this records are worth some money!

$125 Cash obo for the two boxes.

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I feel that it is important to mention at this point that I found all these ads in one sitting while looking at Craigslist ads for CHICAGOLAND.  Not some post-apocalyptic Appalachian mountainside.  

We have three Reckless Records locations! Our city is the home to the venerated Numero Group label! Dusty Groove sells half a million records every year!  The record buying public that I encounter on the streets of my city are not hicks and certainly not chumps.   

And yet this ignorance and vinyl abuse clearly proliferates in our midst. 

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   5000 lps first1000$ takes them no picking Genoa City

In all seriousness, if you choose to go to Genoa City with $1,000 in your pocket, you will probably be tortured and then murdered.  Not even a mutual love of B.B. King will save you.  Don't do it!

                            ****

Riot Fest spotlight: The Orwells

I believe it will take me all summer to get fully prepared for the lineup that Riot Fest announced last week.  It is such a robust bill that I can't even complain that they didn't take any of my late-breaking suggestions from a couple of weeks ago. 

So I would like to take a moment to talk about a local band in the middle of the bill that intrigues me.  Young vampire hunters, The Orwells, are from Elmhurst, IL.

I happened to catch their appearance on David Letterman earlier this year, and I think it was something truly special in the land of television:



Now, if you watched that video all the way to the end, you are undoubtedly left with a question or two:  Are they high?  Did the singer suffer a concussion?  Were David & Paul mocking them or were they geniunely moved by the performance? 

Whatever questions you may have, it really doesn't matter what conclusions you arrive at.  The performance was anything but safe and ordinary.  And their youthful exuberance comes through - this was their big television debut and it was string-snappingly sloppy. 

Their debut LP, Disgraceland, comes out in two weeks on June 3rd.  And this goofy song is on it.  I have heard it on the radio three times already so hopefully things are moving in the right direction for them.  

For the record, I personally believe that David Letterman and the Late Night band were duly impressed by the passion on display. 

Somebody else was so moved by the performance that they made a claymation homage to it.



Another indication that I will dig this band if I investigate further is that when I traveled to their Instagram I encountered this:

PBR2-D2?  Pure Genius!

Riot Fest Wishlist

Yesterday, Riot Fest made the first lineup announcement for Toronto. 

This has sparked a lot of discussion among my peers - how many of these acts can we expect in Chicago? 

Unlike last year, I am completely in the dark & believe it or not, I am kind of happy about that.  The anticipation is building!  I still get occasional glimpses into all the blood, sweat and tears that pour out behind the scenes of this festival, so I am rooting for the organizers like they are family. 

What I do know about Riot Fest Chicago is what everyone knows, we have one more day than Toronto AND a bigger park which means more stages, which means many more bands.

So let me be clear: this is NOT a post where I am suggesting to the good people of Riot Fest to take my advice and book headlining acts that I just thought of on a whim.  I have to book just one benefit concert a year and I can't stand when someone rolls into my office and suggests I contact Neil Young or Aretha Franklin because, well hey...you never know, right?

Because they do know; they know what they are doing and they know who is "get-able."  So, the major draws are their responsibility because they have earned their reputation and have my respect. 

But they DO have a lot of stages to fill for three whole days.  They are working around the clock to book bands.  So, I have been asking around to friends who they would like to see at Riot Fest and this is what has come up. 

Consider this post to be a festival organizer version of Fantasy Football; how do you round out the team after the several rounds of draft picks have gone by? 

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Dem suggested Future of The Left and the Jim Jones Revue and I gotta say both are great live acts. 

I recently joined Dem to see the Jim Jones Revue at Schuba's and they are amazing performers.  Punk Boogie swagger done to perfection. 



G$ suggested The Spits and Radar Men From The Moon and I have to second those two choices as well.  You give The Spits a 30 minute set and you are going to get a lot of punk rock!



Claire wanted to see the Flaming Lips and since they are on the Toronto bill our fingers are crossed. 

I have a few bands to add, of course:

Doomtree - last year Dessa kicked off Friday at Riot Fest, why not bring the whole fun-lovin' crew?  They have a bit of a punk rock ethos, their fans are fervent and it is short drive from Minneapolis to Chicago.  Last year, fans were treated to the mighty Public Enemy and Saul Williams.  We need some agitprop hip-hop to carry on that tradition in 2014.



Danko Jones - Danko delivers arena sized hooks regardless of the size of the venue he is playing.  In a world of unsalted rice cakes, Danko Jones is cheese fries.  I have dragged a LOT of people to see Danko perform over the years and they all leave the show forever in my debt.  Discovering Danko is like tripping over a briefcase full of cash.  



Yes, that video features the acting talents of Mike Watt and Lemmy!  Not to mention Elijah Wood and Selma Blair.  Danko Jones has a million friends who would probably pretend to be his enemy in a video if he asked them. 

Killing Joke - I know this band has Visa issues now and again and that Jaz Coleman goes missing from time to time.  But hand to God, this band is worth the potential headache because they deliver the goods.  Their sound and schema are as relevant today as ever.  



Is Jaz Coleman batshit crazy or the sole sane man in a world gone mad?  I will leave that up to the listener.  I just want to see him do his Perry Farrell as Frankenstein lurch in front of thousands of people.  

Godflesh - kinda along similar lines to KJ, Godflesh would bring us older people out.  I saw them at the Metro in April and I have no doubt that nearly every person at that show would pay good money to see them again so soon.

  

Beaches - So, when I saw on the Toronto announcement, The Beaches were playing I hoped that it was a typo and that it was this quintet from Australia but that really doesn't make sense. I mean, that shit gets proofread, right?



So please consider Beaches my first entry on the wishlist for 2015 because that would be too cruel to put a band called Beaches on a lineup with another band called The Beaches.  UNLESS they got together and agreed that one group of Beaches would put stars on their bellies so we could tell them apart. Then I am sure that Dr. Seuss would approve.  

Savages - This last one kind of goes beyond the concept of "get-able" because I am sure they are taking a much needed break after touring the globe.  But hey, the title of this post is Riot Fest Wishlist. 

So have you seen this video that came out a couple of days ago?  I realize they played Pitchfork just last year but still...god damn!  They are amazing.  I actually went and saw them the Monday night after Riot Fest last year even though I just wanted to soak in a tub of Ben Gay. Not only do I not regret it that decision, it was one of my favorite shows of 2013.  



Well, this was fun.  What do you think?  Who would you like to see at Riot Fest Chicago 2014?

Twenty years ago...

Three days from now will mark the TWENTIETH anniversary of Kurt Cobain's death.  

D pointed that fact out to me a couple of nights ago as we were preparing for bed and it gave us the "Fuck-Where-Has-The-Time-Gone?!" chills.  

I drank two 40 oz bottles of Colt 45 that night and cried a great deal in my apartment, alone.

Two decades later, I am left pondering the loss and trying to calculate the legacy. 

I just stumbled across this video below and it gives me hope that the music is still helping young people cope with life.  It validates Cobain's artistic contributions as authentic and universal.  

That is what endures, that is what is important.  Many of these teens don't even know how he died and one of actually refers to the genre as "Grudge."

This tells us not to get caught up in labels, just seek out truth wherever you can find it.  

You want to feel old?  That little baby in the photo above is now a full grown woman.  The most recent photos I could find of her are three years old now (Frances Bean Cobain will turn turn 22 in August).  Hopefully she turned out alright like the kids in the video above. 

 

Pop Spots

Found this through NME, Pop Culture Detective Bob Egan finds the original locales where album covers were shot. 

His website is fascinating and worth bookmarking - http://www.popspotsnyc.com/

I am reminded me of when I was recently in NYC, spending an afternoon with my friends Mattie and Joe.  At some point in our travels, Joe points down a street and says, "That is the building that was shot for the cover of Zeppelin's Physical Graffiti.  And Keith Richards used to own an apartment there and the video for "Waiting On A Friend" is shot on the stoop and the bar at the corner."

I had such a great time that day that I think Mattie and Joe could easily rent themselves out as tour guides.  They also saved some tourists from Nebraska from making a critical misstep. Mattie and Joe quickly intervened as they were in mid-attempt to open the door to the headquarters of the Hell's Angels as if it was a just some Sons of Anarchy themed restaurant where unannounced visits from looky-loos was welcomed and encouraged.



Is should be pretty self-evident, but yeah - don't knock on this door.  Just don't.

 

Looks super inviting, doesn't it?

Submit to Lego Domination

Have you seen the Lego Movie?  Well, the hype is justified - especially if your house is overrun with actual Legos like mine. 

My son started filming his own Lego movie yesterday and I expect that this project will dominate our daily conversations for at least the next three weeks. 

So in celebration of all things Lego, here are a couple things to check out. 

First is the Flickr Group that recreates album covers with Legos. 

Then there is Lego Motorhead doing Ace of Spades.



I love how the minifigs in this video "play" guitar and bass.  They make rocking out look like an advanced stage of Parkinsons.